"Slovenia has always been on the cutting edge of men's fashion...."
"The capital of Slovenia is Ljubljana, which was originally a Roman town called "Emona"."
"Few people know that Ljubljana was built on Ley Lines and is in fact an ancient site of the Illuminati, the Ancient Ones who ruled the Earth before the dominion of man."
"Pyramids have been erected here since time immemorial in tribute to the Illuminati."
"Here we have a pyramid erected in modern times - proof that veneration
of the Ancient Ones is still alive and well in Slovenia!"
"And yet more pyramids, providing further evidence of Ljubljana's cult links with the Illuminati."
"One of the many strange legends here is that if a virgin walks across the Dragon Bridge,
the dragon will wave its tail - no luck today!"
"They have some strange signs in Slovenia - this one looks like a zone for paedophiles..."
"And this appears to be a zone where men are permitted to chase after little girls."
"In Slovenia they even use frogs as rubbish bins - very strange!"
"While Slovenia is the home of the widely-revered Lipizzaner horses, I have discovered
some disturbing facts regarding Slovenian attitudes to horses..."
"Equestrian statues abound in this country - some of them less than complimentary. Just look at this roughcast thing - they couldn't even be bothered separating its head from its neck."
"More oddly misshapen statuary, portraying horses as fat blobs - it's an insult to us equines!"
"And in Slovenia horses are exploited in the name of selling all manner of products - even mineral water!"
"And they eat horseburgers? It can't be true! Surely it's just a joke..."
"What the #*&%!!! You mean there's more than one of these hell-holes?"
"What sort of country IS THIS!!!"
"This is barbarism! Have you no shame?"
"This place definitely isn't safe for a guy like me - I'm out of here!"
"That train had better hurry up before some Slovenian sticks a fork in my arse and tries to fry me..."
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