At the Tiki Bar
"Here at the Tiki Bar, I feel right in my element!"
"It's a place where a man can unwind with a good strong drink, and admire the decor!"
"But it's not all just drinking and admiring the knick-knacks..."
"It's a great place to meet women too!"
"Did you know that in certain South Seas cultures,
the horse is considered to be a potent symbol of virility?"
"I happen to be pretty potent myself if you're interested in some hot horsey action..."
"What'd I say?"
"Help - I'm being harassed!"
"It was a sincere offer!"
"Ohh my head!"
"But if you are unlucky with the fillies down at the tiki bar,
all is not lost!"
"Just find yourself a quiet corner..."
"Contemplate the injustices of life..."
"And then start drinking yourself into a stupor!"
"When you have no one else left to turn to - alcohol is your best friend!"
"It's sweet, it has a kick, and it never rejects you!"
"A straw enables even faster consumption."
"... And after a while, you reach that happy stage of oblivion
where nothing really matters any more."
"Of course there are some undesirable side effects."
"You're a sad looking specimen, my friend!"
"But the night is still young, and there are other fish in the sea!"
"One of the advantages of alcohol is that you are oblivious to pain."
"And it never stopped me from finding someone to go home with - there'll be someone out there!"
"One of the hazards of picking up some company when you are drunk
is waking up the following morning and drawing a complete blank."
"And then you discover that the enticing prospect from last night
does not look so alluring in the morning."
"In fact, you may realise you have made a horrible mistake!"
Horse Man@MySpace Venetic's Big Day Out 2006
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