VENETIC

HORSE MAN

Does Austria!

"Vienna is another city where us equines are exploited as workhorses, although fortunately here they never seem to be that busy...."

"Some silly people mix up Austria with Australia. Just remember: NO KANGAROOS IN AUSTRIA!"

"As the saying goes: "Wien is ein Hundeklo!" (Vienna is a dog's toilet!)

But they are making an effort to change by providing attractive dispensers with handy doggy poo bags,

located at strategic spots around the city."

"Mind you, the local dogs have my sympathies - I had trouble finding a place to go myself!"

"Austria is renowned for its greatest contribution to culinary culture!"

"But they do have a penchant for weird posters, like this one for a bank,

that looks like it is advertising the Austrian Nazi party."

"And then there is stuff like this..."

"I mean frankly, would you try this at home?"

"When I am in this part of the world, I always use Pferde Salbe - Horse muscle balm."

"It's not just good for muscles - its pungent scent also acts as a powerful underarm deodorant!"

"Or you can apply it to your nether regions for that exciting tingly feeling in all those little places!"

"And being a healthy sort of guy, I always quaff down plenty of Organic Sauerkraut Juice when I'm in Austria."

"This stuff really flushes out the pipes!"

"And it's organic, so it's got to be good for you!"

"Well, here goes!"

"The only problem is, sometimes it doesn't always stay down..."

"I think we'd better leave it there before I projectile vomit on the lens..."